Recklessly Romantic

EID MUBARAK

2005-11-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

The picture was taken yesterday at KL International Airport, Most of Indonesian students in my university went back yesterday and today, home sweet home :)

Assalammu'alaikum,
Tidak terasa, Ramadhan sudah tiba di penghujungnya.Saya dan keluarga mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Eid-ul Fitri,Taqabalallahu Mina wa Minkum,Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Bathin.Kalau ada salah-salah kata tolong dimaafkan dengan tulus dan ikhlas.It's glad to be home but my Bubu is not around...:(Take care everybody, Have a blessing and rewarding Eid.

Tentang Ramadhan

2005-10-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

The picture taken on the first nite of Ramadhan after tarwih in Uni's Masjid, we were sitting in front of library..lonely euy, banyak kawan yang nangis, we miss our families..hiks..

Assalammu'alaikum wrt wbt

Sudah cukup lama nih hiatus a.k.a ngga nge-blog. Gimana kabarnya Mba,teteh, ummi, bunda, n sahabat lainnya ( mas n abang ada nda ya :). Alhamdulillah saya dan keluarga baik2x saja, mohon maaf ya karena bleum bisa membalas kunjungan sahabat2x tersayang nih, punten ya, Insya allah after final exams bisa blogwalking sepuas-puasnya...
Tentang Ramadhan kali ini..
It’s a quiet and serene one; I immensely enjoy the ambience of Ramadhan especially in this university. People turns to be a better and kinder person, Masha Allah, it's a blessing of Ramadhan. Even for me, though I'm spending Ramadhan far away from my beloved ones (my family) but the spirit of Ramadhan keep me alive and spiritually enhanced. Allahu akbar. Life is more organized in Ramadhan because we are obliged to apportion our time proportionately and there's a time for everything, Masha Allah. If only every month was Ramadhan, life would be so wonderful :).
Ramadhan means a lot for me. It’s a romantic month ..hmmm...( oh well pls bear with me coz I got married a week after the end of Ramadhan).
As I mentioned before of how I immensely enjoy the tranquility and spiritual contained ambience around me. Sometimes as I pray to Allah in the night, I felt this soft pang in my heart. It's trully amazing, how I enjoyed this kind of pang which used to bother me. Which kind of pang I'm talking about? A soft pang which thumps me right on my qalb (heart), it awaken my sensitivity and sensory nerves to react more humane or in other words, to return to my fitrah.
I enjoy Ramadhan where my recitation of Al Qur'an is getting longer, where my tears falling down for the sake of repentance, where I do not to feel sleepy during the sahur time for the sake of Barakah seeking purpose. Not to mention above how I could reach this state of mind where I’m no longer reckless and weary. I feel more energetic and positive. Allahu Akbar.
I am blessed to be given an opportunity to taste the deliciousness of Ramadhan this year and for this chance, I have decided to opt for the best and only the best to be done in Ramadhan. Yes, I will have my final exams in coming weekend, yes, I’m spending Ramadhan far away from my beloved ones( it hurts though), but I won’t spoil this Ramadhan by eerie performances of my ibadah and study. This Ramadhan has to be much better than last year Insha Allah I am motivated for this noble purpose.
So for all my beloved sisters and brothers in Islam, let’s do our best for this Ramadhan and benefit this Holly month as a turning point to be a better Muslim in other months.
There many things to tell about my Ramadhan, too many to be honest, but only the best experience I would love to share with you all, and Please be Hurry, we have only 17 days left and so many things are left to be done, Hurry for Allah’s Barakah and Hidayah, Race to get Allah’s Mercy and Forgiveness, for we are blessed to be given an opportunity to purify ourselves in this holly month of Ramadhan. May Allah bless our efforts to seek for His blessing and forgiveness. For some who think that Ramadhan is not so special and still feeling numb to race for Allah’s reward, I humbly beg to differ.
Wassalammu’alaikum

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

2005-10-04T17:56:00.000+08:00

Andai Tangan Tak Kuasa Berjabat
Setidaknya Kata Masih Dapat Terungkap
Tulus Hati Mohon Maaf
Atas Segala Salah dan Khilaf
Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

Telah Berpulang Ke Rahmatullah

2005-09-30T10:56:00.000+08:00

Dr. Unvar Rahman Abdul Mutholib.

My Beloved lecturer and deputy dean in student’s affair passed away on Wednesday 28th at 1.30 pm Kuala Lumpur time from Dengue and diabetic complication.
He was a humble and kind hearted lecturer in the Department of Accounting.
It is a great loss for us, for those who have been touched by his brilliant expertise, his modesty and his earnest attitude. He was a good Muslim who would actively encourage us to organize any kind of Islamic activities and was the one who never missed the invitation to attend halaqa (Islamic gathering).
We love him dearly. It was too soon, but Allah knows best. He was only been hospitalized for one week before Izrail took his soul to return to his Rabb.
I still remember how warm he greeted us during the night of “Celebrating Student Excellent”, December 2004 (picture above). He handed me the certificate for the Dean Listed student Award and congratulated my small achievement with sincere words. I would never forget that night. Between all the deputy deans, Rector and other VIPs he was the simplest one. Directly attended the Celebration Night from his hectic office after such a long tiring day with whatever costume he was wearing that day. Yet, Dr. Unvar was the dearest among all as always.
This morning, he supposed to teach us Seminar of cost Accounting (the toughest and the deadly subject of all in Accounting), but Dr. Nik appeared and taught us for 30 minutes before she broke down and cried. The pain was excruciating in our hearts. We would prefer to end up the class earlier in silent. Dr. Nik apologized and we understood.
We need some time. The whole department is mourning.
I guess all the good people in the world go faster than others.
May Allah bless his soul and give him a place in Jannah. Amiin.
We will miss you sir,.........we’ll surely do.

Kartu Lebaran

2005-09-26T12:28:00.000+08:00

Assalammu'alaikum...

Marhaban ya Ramadhan, sebentar lagi udah mulai shaum ( puasa ) nih. Hehe...tapi semangat lebarannya udah menggebu-gebu sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan ( ngga ding). Cuma mau request untuk sahabat-sahabat tersayang, karena Insya Allah di Bulan Ramadhan I'll be having my Final exams, yes, that's right Huhu....maka dari sekarang pingin mulai membeli or membuat ( kalo bisa) kartu lebaran trus kita kirim-kiriman yuks. Yang mau dikirimin kartu lebaran dari saya ( plus tandatangan dan kata kenangan)..wooooo..siapa juga yang mau.....( plsss....crying.com) maka kirimkanlah nama beserta alamat ke email address ini hawa1994@yahoo.com, Insha Allah kita bisa menyambung ukhuwah lewat kartu2x yang sederhana tapi bermakna. beneran nih ya penawaran terbuka untuk sahabat2x saya di dunia maya ( bukan dunia lain-ghaib) tercinta. Sebentar lagi mungkin harus hiatus dulu...tidaaakkk..bukan karena sedih Bubu-nya balik ke Toronto loh ( emang iya juga sih)..tapi assignmentnya itu dan project paper yang belum selesai. Siapa yang mau bantu.

Btw, Alhamdulillah di tengah kemurungan di tinggal sementara oleh kekasih ..dooo..ada berita gembira.

1. I won 2nd prize for poetry reading competition for University level

2. My project paper for Auditing has been elected to join essay contest of MICPA ( Malaysian Institute of Chartered Accountant). Alhamdulillah. Penghibur hati.

sekali lagi terimakasih atas doa dan supportnya. saya jadi terharu. Pada baek2x ya semuanya..( big Hugssss).....

Cuma Allah aja yang bisa membalasnya.

sampai di sini dulu....mo lunch ni lapar bow...

Tanpa Air Mata

2005-09-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

Tidak banyak yang dapat diceritakan,

Sore itu, kami mengucapkan janji uuntuk bertemu kembali Insha Allah,

Aku bersiteguh menahan air mata yang hampir tumpah,

Cukup sajadah khusu'dan sujud panjang yang menjadi kekuatan untuk kami berdua

Untuk tetap sabar dan tawakal,

Sayang, Allah akan selalu menjagamu.

Tidak banyak yang dapat ditangkap oleh lensa kamera

momen yang terlalu sakral

hanya seulas senyum dan bagpack merahmu

Pelukan erat di sudut airport yang hiruk pikuk

" Let me take your pic" He said

" what about you?" I replied

He took the camera from my hand and pointed me to stand next to trolley....then he smiled

" Please smile sayang'' he begged "

Kemudian ada ngilu di dada, ya, saatnya berpisah and seperti kata seorang sahabat

"Don't say Goodbye but say till we meet again, Insha Allah"

Until that time, Allah akan menjaga kita dan

Aku akan baik-baik saja......

ps. Thank you for all your supports and Du'a. We really appreciate them.

Semoga Allah Membalas ketulusan kalian sahabat2 terkasih.

I don't wanna say Goodbye

2005-09-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

Imagine this,

Two people

One Heart

Meant to be together

Blessed with Love,

And in few days,

the other half has to go,

Lalu harus kurekatkan di mana sebagian hatiku yang kau bawa pergi...
I hate saying Goodbye,

I simply drawn.

Please pray for us to bear this feeling.

Kekasihku harus kembali ke negeri di utara.

semoga Allah mengaruniakan kesabaran untuk kami

Conversation with an Angel.

2005-09-13T19:56:00.000+08:00

It was Tuesday, 1 am in Kuala lumpur and Monday ,5 pm in UK .

Finally, I spoke with him. Oh Masha Allah, he was so adorable.He recited Al-fathihah fluently on my ears with his innocent voice.Definitelly it was the best conversation I had with a kid in his age.He told me in about a good Muslim man's appearance. everytime he couldn't get my point ( or should I say my point was blurred for him hehe..he said "pardon auntie, sorry Aisha is shouting", eleuh neng Aisha, ngga yang Aisha besar ( me) and Aisha kecil, sama wae atuh..."

" My dadddy has beard and I would love to have as well when I grow up"

or another angelic line....

"I do pray in Masjid with daddy "

or another cute self claimed sentence

" I am a good boy auntie, I help Mommy ".

Yes Yusuf, indeed you are a good boy.The conversation lasted for about 12 minutes coz I gotta back to bed and sleep .

Dear Yusuf, Eventhough I never saw your flawless countenance , I've fallen for you at the first sight.You remind me of how being a good Muslim in your sincere childlike way.I Can't wait to have my own angel just like you, and for that I keep on praying to Allah.And for you sis, what a lucky mother you are, I "envy" you for having him in your life, Masha Allah ( thanks for reminding me;), .May Allah bless this family and take care of their angels .Can't wait to fix another date with him. Hmmm.....what am I going to say next, ouch, my heart melts...( SMILE )I hope my Bubu wont get jealous coz definitelly this boy steals my heart away....

Dede Sayang

2005-09-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

Hari ini mood-nya pingin ngomongin ade'ku satu-satunya. maybe coz I simply miss him.

Di usianya yang menjelang 22 tahun, adikku terbilang lebih dewasa dibanding kawan-kawannya. Tutur katanya santun, nda pernah meninggikan suara dan yang jelas ade'ku ini tawadhu sekali Masya Allah. walau aku kakaknya, namun banyak sekali nasehat yang diberikan ade'ku termasuk dalam hal pernikahan. Untuk anak lelaki seumuran adikku, bisanya mereka gandrung sama musik, sepak bola, dan tentu saja masa puber yang melonjak-lonjak. Alhamdulillah ade'ku cukup berbeda. Aktifitas yang padat di senat kampusnya, ta'lim keislaman yang rrutin diikutinya, ilmu komputer yang ditekuninya membuat ade'ku ini jauh dari yang namanya hedonism. Kadang aku suka malu sendiri, gaya hidupnya yang sangat sederhana sering membuatku tertegun, Masya Allah, betapa aku harus belajar lebih banyak dari anak lelaki berusia 22 tahun yang berusaha memelihara janggutnya sebagai bentuk sunnah.

Ade'ku sabar, sangat sabar dibanding aku yang meletup-letup. Jika mama-papaku naik pitam, ia hanya diam, menunduk dan terkadang airmata yang mengalir, menyesali sikapnya kenapa sampai membuat orang tua yang dicintainya bersusah hati. Tapi semua itu bukan berarti ade'ku cengeng. Ia seorang lelaki yang tangguh dan nda pernah merasa malu membantu mbakyu dan mamanya untuk hal-hal sekecil apapun. Contohnya belanja sayur ke supermarket. dengan telaten ade'ku akan mencatat semua kebutuhan yang akan dibeli berdasarkan instruksi mama dan segera pergi ke supermarket. bahkan terkadang untuk sekedar cabe, tomat, bawang pun ia tak segan belanja ke warung terdekat. Ade'ku suka main basket. badannya yang tinggi melebihi 180 cm membuatnya terlihat apik saat melambungkan bola basket ke dalam keranjang.

Ade'ku sayang, begitu sederhana, tanpa banyak meminta dan tidak pernah iri dengan apa yang aku punya yang dirinya tak ada. tidak bertanya mengapa begini dan begitu. Ikhlas. Aku bersyukur kepada Allah dikarunia adik lelaki seperti dirinya. Dalam bidang akademis, ia pandai matematika dan fisika tapi jangan ditanya bahasa Inggrisnya. My Hubby pun sering menggodanya untuk tinggal di canada biar Englishnya gape. ia hanya menggeleng tersenyum. Aku menantangnya, gimana mau jadi sarjana komputer yang handal kalau englishnya belepotan gitu to de'?, Ia menjawab tantanganku dengan serius ikut kursus bahasa Inggirs intensif.

Ade'ku yang santun, duh, teduh rasanya kami memandangmu, sholat tahajud yang tak pernah kau tinggalkan, sholat fardhu yang selalu di Masjid, bacaan quranmu, airmata khusu'mu, kewatadhuan'mu, rasa kasihmu pada sesama, membuat aku kakaknya tertunduk dalam malu dan syukur. rasanya aku harus banyak belajar dari sosok yang tak asing lagi dalam kehidupanku ini.

sms-sms ade'ku selalu penuh tausiah ( nasihat), bertanya tentang keadaan hatiku, keimananku, kesabaranku, di saat aku limbung, ade'ku selalu ada di sana, tanpa banyak kata, hanya doa dan ketegaran yang ia suguhkan untuk memastikan aku akan baik-baik saja.

We Love him so dearly. dede sayang yang memakai braces sampai SMU, dede yang suka naik motor, dede yang suka beli software n hardware komputer, dede yang kalo ngomong cepet banget bikin mba dan mama terpingkal2x, dede yang sabar, dede yang pemalu, dede yang suka baca puisi seperti mba'nya, dede yang ikut olimpiade matematika, dede yang bahasa inggrisnya udah lumayan sekarang, dede yang tawadhu, dede yang ngga malu beli bawang en tomat or even pads for my period. dede yang luttu,

hari ini Mba kangen banget sama dede, iya loh bener. Kalo dede baca postingan mba, ini buat dede. Semoga Allah merajutkan kasih dan persaudaraan kita sampai di akhirat nanti dan semoga kita termasuk orang-orang beriman yang akan dipertemukan di syurga.

Mba sayang dede'

Candlelight Dinner

2005-09-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

Great place and food ..hmmm

just opposite KLCC

and of course, the one n only KLCC

ampe bosen deh ke sini mulu hehe, yang penting kan dengan siapa bukan kemananya *.* twink twink

It was simply romantic.
A candlelight dinner and a glimpse of his warm smile.
What more can I ask?
dessert plzzz....:P

New Layout

2005-09-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

Terpaksa mengingkari janji tuk nda nge-blog. Iseng nih, utak-atik template, maklum ya amatiran, tapi lumayan kan ngga dibantuin siapa-siapa hehe( ngeles aja bisanya). Tapi dengan berat hati, comment-nya diganti haloscan jadi pada hilang semuanya ( hiks), maka harap Mba, teteh, Ummi en Bunda tersayang ngisi comment lagi ya...( maunya..maksa nih critanya..). Udah dulu ya ntar dijitak sama yang punya laptop, wong janjinya nda nge-blog dulu....
See you soon Insya Allah.
ps. Thanks for all your hearty comments, I really appreciate them.

My BuBu

2005-09-02T08:30:00.000+08:00

The man behind the screen, yang sering disebut sebagai si Abang, si Mas, Hubby or sayang, yang nama kesayangannya BUBU...hihi..luttu ya namanya...pokoknya yang telah mengisi hari-hariku selama hampir dua tahun belakangan ini. Iya ibu-ibu, tante, teteh, ummi, bunda, kakak en mba-mba, ini loh kangmas saya...tapi mukanya masih diumpetin abish dianya kan pemalu ( tidak seperti istrinya yang tidak tau malu eitsssss.....jangan salah ya, dakuw juga pemalu loh ). Buat teh Ophi, masih keukeuh ngegodain-nya..hmmmm ( pasang muka garang), buat mba Eka, he's Algerian-Canadian.For Mummy-nya Sulaiman, kalau the driver difotonya dari belakang, si kangmas difoto dari samping ya...( deuuu gak mau kalah).

Sampai jumpa minggu depan karena saya mau liburan dulu ya....capek atuh nge-blog mulu menuruti hawa nafsu..( ngga ding...), I love blogging and blogwalking. so, see you next week Insha Allah.

My Afghani Chicken

2005-09-02T02:08:00.000+08:00

Semoga nda bosan dengan postingan foto2xnya , janji deh ini yang terakhir dari ummatic series-nya...cuma mau memajang my best friend picture , Manezha dengan traditional dressnya. Udah pada tau kan dia dari Afganistan, kaya'nya dakuw dah pernah cerita dan panampakan gadis ini( kaya cerita misteri aja) sudah cukup sering di blogkuw. kalau yang mau tau kenapa aku manggilnya chicken, coba lihat di sini.

oia temen2xku pada nanya malam itu pas aku modifikasi sedikit jilbabnya dengan alasan iseng ajah..duh kalau si abang tau ntar disangkain kecentilan ( emang iya :P weeks ), " Aisha, is this the way Indonesians wear their scarves for special ocassion?" dakuw mah he-eh ajah, wah ngga tau dia, kita Indonesian kan kreatif dan innovatif, jilbab aja bisa dibikin bunga-bungaan, kaya dikepang dan sebagainya, walau sebenarnya nda praktis dan saya kurang interest. Sehari-hari saya memilih memakai jilbab dengan gaya arab ( yang dililit) seperti my pink scarf atau ya kaya yang dipakai di Indonesia, cuma untuk bergo nggak kali ya..hehe:D:D. Si Abang lebih suka kalau pake jilbab yang panjangan dikit trus abaya, no pants !!!. Hiksss...Naturally dakuw memang nada terlalu suka pake celana, paling di padu-padan sama long coat or jubah yang banyak buttonsnya dan di open tiga buttons gitu dari bawah...bukan dari atas loh..ntar ngga ngefek malah aneh :P.

Udah ah, ngomong apaan sih saya, maklum liburan mid-term nih dari hari Jumat sampai Rabu..oh Senangnya bisa jalan-jalan...( apaan senang, wong abish ujian presentation ma exams dah menunggu lagi..huuuuuu..).

Take care ya, Love you all my dear sista'

More Photos

2005-08-31T04:36:00.000+08:00

All these photos were taken at the last night of ummatic week, well it was sad coz it would be my last ummatic week in this university. We had fun indeed. Every country got prize though it did not win anything, anyway at the end of the day all of us are winners when we succeed to encumber our abhorrence of being different. We are all from the same Ummah, so what is so important of being west or east, arab or asian, black or white, and whatever the differences between us. Instead of bringing the gap closer by mutually appreciated our differences, some people tend to stimulate tidbits difference into a bigger issue which widen the gap between the ummah and it is so pathetic!!!.This ummah is dispersed enough so please, for the sake of God why don't we take a break for a while from whatever cynical and skeptical attitude toward someone who is happened to be different from us in whatsoever senses.

WHoops, I'm sorry for rumbling like an old lady next door, I just need to unload my thought about being difference. Please bear with me.

Who said brothers can't dance ?

2005-08-29T06:23:00.000+08:00

And the Award of Sister Cultural Nite Goes to....

BOSNIA...

Well they really deserved the first prize, coz they've been practicing really hard. Indonesia nda menang tahun ini....tapi tidak mengapa....yang penting khan semangatnya...tahun 2003 yang lalu waktu saya dan kawan2x tampil kita juara satu loh..( pamer nih critanya..maksudnya apa??..)ngga ding..cuma menyemangati diri sendiri...huhu...dakuw bilang ma junior2x...jangan sedih, you did ur best!!..and we're proud of you..yeahhh big hugsssss.....

maaf ya fotonya saya blur-in sedikit soalnya they were not fully covered, kan sisters semua :D

Aha, kalau sister only could dance in closed main auditorioum, but brothers boleh unjuk kebolehan traditional dancenya di depan stall masing masing n kita juga ada cultural stage everynite different performance from different countries.

Pingin ketawa juga sebenernya karena si Mehmed ini ( yang baju putih ) sehari-harinya pendiam n kaya'nya bukan yang type dancer sekali, tapi ternyata saudara2x.... Don't Judge a Book by its cover

ayoo siapa bloggerian yang pandai menari mari ajari saya....

UMMATIC WEEK

2005-08-29T06:11:00.000+08:00

Seperti yang sudah saya janjikan sebelumnya...

tapi..ada tapinya..karena kesibukan ganda yang sedang melanda..dooohhh!!!..

Maka foto2nya dulu dipajang ceritanya tunggu dulu yaaa...

ENJOY :D

Ouch..of course our beloved Indonesia stall, liat tuh bagongnya..hehehe langsung gampang ngenalinnya..btw..dakuw yang pake hijab pink loh bukan yang bagong :D:D

IRaQis Girls....with their traditional costumes sedangkan saya dengan kostum pergi ke kelasmana sempet mo bercantique ria..sibukss...( alasan mulu neh....)

Soft and lovely Thai...

Payungnya hampir sama kaya' yang di Indo khan...

Surat Untuk Kekasih

2005-08-23T05:57:00.000+08:00

Cinta menggumpal di hati, pecah di mata kemudian mengalir ke penjuru tubuh. pada setiap luka ada embun dan salju yang meringankan bebannya. Rindu adalah kekal jika kau tanyakan pada siapa dan untuk apa, tak kan kutemukan jawabnya walau hanya sejenak.
Cemburu lahir di rahim wanita , tumbuh di tulang belikat dan menjadi dewasa di sel-sel otak. Aku menunggu datangmu dalam diam, diam yang membuatku tampak lebih kuat dan dewasa dibanding tahun-tahun kemarin.
Hidup mengajarkan kita untuk bertahan dan tidak untuk membandingkan segala yang kita punya dengan orang lain karena itu hanya akan melukai jiwa dan hati nurani Bernapas dalam udara yang penuh kemunafikan, aku tahu rasanya sayang., Ia seperti mencekikmu , dan ketika kau hampir mati ia akan menghampirimu kemudian menciummu seolah ingin memberikan nafas buatan. bukankah kita tidak butuh semua itu ?
ketidakberadaanmu bukanlah hukuman bagi ikatan kita, bukan pula cemohan yang menggetarkan Arsy-NYA karena perpisahan. Kita sama-sama tidak punya sesuatu apapun untuk dibanggakan. Namun cintamu membuatku hidup dalam debu dan air yang mengembun awan-awan kota tua. Awan itu kelak akan menjadi hujan sayang, dan rumah yang belum beratap ini akan dibanjiri oleh limpahan air dari langit. Kau akan tersenyum pada akhirnya mengingat betapa Maha Pemurahnya Allah.
Mungkin setelah itu kita tidak tahu lagi bagaimana cara untuk tersenyum karena semua permasalahan akan menimpa, menimbun, membelenggu dan bahkan menguliti kita. Pada saat itu, kita tahu bahwa cinta bukan suplemen murahan pengokoh ikatan suci ini, kita butuh sesuatu yang lebih besar dari itu semua, sesuatu yang melingkupi kita dengan cahaya dan membunuh bakter-bakteri kebosanan yang lama menggerogoti mahligai kita.
Aku mencintaimu dengan ketidakpuasaanku, dengan kelemahanku, dengan kesombonganku, aku mencintai kesabaranmu, kemandirianmu, kekuatanmu, dan segala yang ada padamu, Aku mencintai udara yang kau hirup, keluargamu, kota yang membesarkanmu, bahkan tumbuhan hijau yang kau tanam dalam pot-pot di apartemenmu. Aku mencintai mereka semua karena mereka merupakan bagian dari hidupmu.Aku mencintaimu dengan angkuhku, dengan kelemahanku, juga dengan kehambaanku pada Sang Maha Kuasa.

Haze

2005-08-16T03:40:00.000+08:00

Assalammu'alaikum,

pakabar semuanya, mba, teteh, bunda, ummi n sahabat2x yang lain? Gimana wiken-nya?Kalau wiken saya Alhamdulillah biasa-biasa ajah, tapi tetep bersyukur loh... Soalnya dah hampir satu minggu daerah Kuala Lumpur sekitarnya ditutupi asap akibat hembusan angin dari Sumatra yang membawa sisa asap kebakaran hutan....sedih deh...kita semua pada pake masker, soalnya udah buruk banget pas hari kamis pekan yang lalu. Alhamdulillah setelah sholat Jum'at, kampus mengadakan Sholat Isitisqa ( sholat minta hujan)...wah beneran kita khusu' banget berdoa semoga Allah menurunkan hujan dan mengganti udara ini dengan yang yang segar dan sehat seperti biasanya.....
Masha Allah, hari ahad-nya hujan pun turus dengan deras, sangat deras, dan udara berganti segar, sehat..wahhhhh...saya meneteskan airmata..bersyukur ya Rabb, doa kita masih didengar...Amiin ya Rabbal Alamin...temen2x foreigners yang lain dah pada takut, ada yang niat banget mau balik ke negaranya ( saya menuding becanda kalau dia cuma mo lari dari midterm exam doang..hehhehe jahat ya saya)....Trus, my sister Manizha dia udah bilang kalau it's ok if she had to die tapi dia nggak mau meninggal perlahan-lahan kehabisan udara ( wuiihh ngeri benerrr,,,)..Temen2x yang lain pada confirm ke saya karena mereka denger di News TV bahwa hutan di sumatra sengaja dibakar ( saya dengan kalem menggeleng...tidak tahu.....sedih...) mau jawab gimana yaa.....
Tapi Alhamdulillah sekarang sudah jernih segar dan sehat semula Alhamdulillah, My beautiful campus,..duh..saya kerasan sekali tinggal di sini karena kala pagi burung2x masih berkicau dan suka loncat-loncat di depan kita ( mereka nda takut karena kita juga tidak menggangu), trus masih asri sekali persekitarannya...well memang lumayan jauh dari the heart of Kuala Lumpur, tapi malah bagus...gak sering sering begaul ke KLCC...wooooooo...SMU bangett...bentar-bentar PS...maklum yang paling deket gitu..( padahal mah pasar tebet jelas lebih deket :P )..weksss...

Oiya, di Kuliyyah of Economics nih ada satu spot yang saya suka banget, tepatnya di Management Centre...duh gardennya cantik walaupun mungil, kalau sore lagi relax, saya dan teman2x suka duduk2x di sana, sambil makan cemilan trus gelar tiker n piknik ( boong deng..)..maunya gitu..tapi malu soalnya nggak jauh dari MGT Centre ini Apartmentnya brotherss...hayyyooohhhh...mo piknik apa mo ngeceng..seperti yang sarah bilang, single and ready to mingle...heheheh itu mah nggak berlaku buat dakuwww....

nah di kolan kecil ini saya suka main2x sama bunga-bunga yang ada, dipetik trus diapung-apungin di situ kaya anak kecil ajah trus kalo emang udah keluar tanduknya alias iseng, tengok kanan kiri..gak ada orang...serbu..ciprat-cipratan sampe basah kuyupp...

si Mas suka bilang....kalo saya kaya' anak kecil..malu tapi nda papa deh....:P
Truz, berhubung udaranya udah segar kembali maka saya pun jalan-jalan keliling kampus dengan bahagia sampai gempor..soalnya guede gituw....haaa..pulangnya nyetop bis kampus....huaaa..ketawana pemalas....siapa bilang, saya rajin loh :D:D:D....

Btw...siap sia yahhh..UMMATIC WEEK IS COMING....
seru heboh, rame...siap-siap tunggu berita selanjutnya dan foto2x yang segudang....
Apakah Ummatic week ituh? next posting deh dijelasin..okehh...

Foto di atas aku ma temenku Nadia dari Thailand pas ummatic week 2003, dia bae banget tapi sekarang udah nda kuliah di sini lagi...kangen..pas aku ke Thailand dia loh yang jadi Tour guidenya...she's really nice...Miss you dear..

cu then

Nescafe and Putrajaya

2005-08-11T02:25:00.000+08:00

The picture above was taken last friday when we were having Hitea..or lebih bener kalau disebut Hi-coffee soalnya we love coffee gituw, bukannya iklan nescafe laway...tapi memang kebetulan ajah kita duduk2xnya di sini karena sebelahan sama library and deket dengan Fakultas dakuw.

Selanjutnya...

Things are quite boring here except for last week gathering in one of the newly-wed couple from Kashmir. It was fun. she invited us to her apartment ..hmm...cooked those oh so delicious foods n sweets, some of my friends were dancing...yang kaya' di HIndi movies gituh..wakkaaaa...lumayan pertunjukkan bolywood gratisan..tenang-tenang,narinya nda kampungan kok, menurutku lumayan bagus, specially my friend Marya, she was Lovely soalnya dia memang belajar traditional Hindi-dance....pokoknya last saturday, kita berhindi ria deh...
sayang fotonya nda bisa di post soalnya sampe apartment kita semua langsung nge-buka our scarves, kan cewe semua...ayo jangan sudzon yaaa.....jadinya ya tau sendiri deh...( smile..smile)
Truzzz....

berhubung kabel USB digicam udah sampe di KL ( actually dah dari2 minggu yang lalu), maka janjipun harus dilaksanakan dengan memajang foto-foto My last trip ke Ministry of Finance di PUTRAJAYA.
Putrajaya is the new Administrative Centre of the Federal Government of Malaysia. Situated within the Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC), the development of Putrajaya marks a new chapter in the history of modern city planning in Malaysia. It is set to be a model garden city with sophisticated information network base on multimedia technologies.

Putra Mosque.
Situated next to a lake, it incorporates Islamic architecture from countries such as Turkestan, Kazakzstan and Morocco. The mosque consists of a 116m tall minaret and can accommodate 15,000 people. 116 metres tall, one of the striking features of the minaret is that it was designed after the Sheikh Oman Mosque in Baghdad. Its five-tiers representing the five pillars of Islam and its five call to prayers. Within its premises is the VIP Room Gallery, the Al-Quran Manuscript Museum, a library, auditorium and exhibition hall as well as a seminar room. It also has a large courtyard called the “Sahn” dedicated to commemorate the life of the Prophet. The main entrance to the mosque is patterned after the gates of Persia. Twelve columns support the 36 metre diameter main dome.

Karena kita datangnya pas hari Jum'at jadi full deh , yang sisters harus sholat di lantai bawah...

Masjidnya cantik Masya Allah...

Kalau melihat struktur bangunannya, serasa bukan berada di Malaysia, well

Putrajaya memang disebut sebagai Intelligent city of Malaysia

Sebagian sisters yang ikut...Djiboutian, Indian, Chinesse, Malaysian..

Abish ke Federal Treasury n ketemu plus having discussion dengan second Minister of finance-nya, rombongan pun meluncur ke Alamanda, mall terdekat di lokasi Putrajaya. Mallnya baru jadi masih sepi..tapi malah seru kita bisa "maen-maen" sepuasnya....( emang anak kelas berapa mba? :D...ouch..tersipu..).

Ena and Aida from Bosnia, Aisha from Indonesia :P

sebenernya masih pengen nulis yang banyak, tapi assignment juga sudah menanti, maka izikanlah saya undur diri dulu yaaa....

take care :)

Ada kamu di hatiku

2005-08-05T03:40:00.000+08:00

Warning: postingan panjang, kalau ada yang mau dikerjain lebih penting didahulukan sebelum membaca :D

Current Mode: Mojadul

Terkenang masa-masa indah itu, terbayang celoteh konyol dan banyolan segar kawan-kawan yang tiada lapuk dilumat waktu. Seragam putih abu-abu, jilbab putih dari bahan katun dan sepatu skechers hitam yang selalu menemani hari-hari ku di sebuah tempat yang selalu kuanggap sebagai rumah kedua. Rumah keduaku itu adalah bangunan yang berdiri di kawasan rawan banjir Bukit Duri Jakarta selatan, yang disinyalir sebagai sekolah unggulan se-Jakarta walau kebenarannya diragukan setelah menghasilkan alumni-alumni seperti si penulis dan kawan-kawannya yang lain. Sekolah yang dimulai pukul 6.45 pagi sampai pukul 4 sore, sekolah yang lebih tepatnya disebut sebagai sanctuary oleh para penghuninya karena dapat melindungi mereka dari lapar dahaga, panas badai hujan, anjing gila, supir bajay yang aduhai nyetirnya ( Cuma Allah dan supir bajay yang tau kapan mo belok kanan, kiri or lurus) dan tukang copet yang berkeliaran di kawasan rawan bukit duri dan sekitarnya , sekolah yang rindang dan dicintai sepenuh hati oleh penghuninya, tempat yang resminya diberi nama Sekolah Menengah Umum Negeri 8 Jakarta (Smundel).

Tentang Penghuninya,
Ada si penulis , gadis manis yang rada-rada tomboy tapi baik hati, mencoba berhijrah menjadi muslimah sejati dengan memakai jilbab tapi sering lupa bahwa rok seragam panjangnya tidak suitable untuk main lompat tali or kejar-kejaran dalam permainan “ memburu Bedi”(Red-Bedi adalah seorang korban kekanibalan penghuni kelas 2-G yang dijadikan sasaran perburuan di saat senggang atau pergantian pelajaran).
Ada Mecca, gadis manis teman di Rohis ( Rohani Keislaman) yang asik diajak curhat, ada Devi dan Mami yang lembut dan menyejukkan hati setiap diajak berbicara, ada Ninil si endut yang super ceria, ada Elsy yang setiap saat pasrah dikatain jayuz (julukan ngetop bagi sesiapa yang coba ngelucu tapi berakhir garing ), ada Eric yang tidak bosan-bosannya membuka hari-hariku dengan cerita-cerita aneh bin ajaibnya, ada Bonny teman duet bernyanyi yang ngefans dengan lagu-lagu lama ( oldies but goldies katanya) dan berhasil menjebakku nyanyi di pasir putih ( masih ingat can’t Take My Eyes of You? That’s our song, Bon), ada Dion juragan minyak yang paling ditakutin anak-anak untuk parkir deket mobilnya karena dia suka ngasal nubruk n nyenggol tanpa rasa bersalah, ada Wanda yang dulunya anak punk dan kemudian berhijrah jadi ikhwan yang budiman, ada Ratih yang seumur hidup belum pernah ke pasar Jatinegara walau rumahnya nggak jauh dari situ, ada Bedi pria sejati yang bisa ditebengin kapan aja, ada Nila cheerleader yang suka latah, temen gosip yang heboh, ada Sabrina, si Arab-tegal yang nggak bisa ngomong arab, ada Dide si ganteng yang mengidap sindrom grogi-complex sehingga kita hobi bikin dia panik, ada Levino si jagoan matematika yang nggak bisa bahasa inggris ( gue salut ma nilai 10 Matematika n Fisika di rapot lo en tak lupa score 220 Toefl lo yang mengharu-biru itu Lev...haha..jahat ya gue), ada Alia si None Jakarta Selatan yang baik hati , ada Wita temen cabut yang kompak, ada Pak Kumis satpam favorit yang udah jadi ce-es anak-anak dan tidak pernah bosen ngebantuin si penulis yang super teledor untuk membuka kaca jendela mobilnya dengan paksa karena kunci mobil ketinggalan di dalam ( please don’t condemn my carelessness) , ada Bu Purwanti, guru matematika yang pernah bikin pingsan Herman, ada Pandhu, my teddy bear ( tapi pas di itebe pandhu dah kurus..), ada Pak Wicay guru Fisika yang suka bernyanyi, ada Jarot the giant yang sekarang udah jadi pak dokter ( gw masih nggak percaya dan bersumpah tidak akan menajdi pasien lo Insya Allah..hehe), ada Iin dan Anissa yang mungil dan sangat kusayangi, ada Tifa dan ucok yang tetep jadi temen deket sampe kuliah di bandung, ada Fantri yang gila olahraga dan juga baik hati,dan tentu saja ada Sari, my trueblood friend and partner in crime yang tidak pernah kan terganti ( I really love you dear ), ada ini, ada itu, ada banyak lagi....Terlalu banyak....

Dan hari ini, aku mencoba menulis nama-nama mereka yang pernah dan masih terus dekat di hati. Nama-nama yang selalu kusebut dengan intonasi persahabatan, wajah-wajah yang kukenali dengan teliti hingga tak lekang oleh himpitan hari yang terus bergulir. Selalu ada doa untuk mereka yang pernah dan selalu menjadi bagian terpenting dalam hidupku. Terimakasih untuk segalanya. Terimakasih untuk pelajaran berharga yang telah kalian berikan sehingga aku bisa menjadi manusia yang lebih manusiawi dengan segala kekurangan yang ada. Terimakasih untuk waktu dan hati kalian, Terimakasih untuk mempercayakan amanah indah yang di sebut “ persahabatan”. Semoga perjalanan persahabatan kita tidak berhenti sampai di sini namun terus mengalir sampai masanya tiba....untuk perpisahan yang abadi. Dan foto di bawah ini merupakan the last picture we took untuk dipajang di buku tahunan. Sebenarnya, foto yang dipublish di BT ( Buku Tahunan) itu yang posenya lebih mencerminkan manusia berpendidikan ( setelah bapak-ibu guru bersusah payah mendidik kami..terimakasih pak..bu..), namun saya lebih suka foto yang kacau ini, dan mohon maaf dengan gaya saya yang norak dan membuat lambang peace deket kepala bapak fantri) eitss..tapi nggak pake acara nyenggol loh, keliatannya ajah padahal jarak diantara kami sekitar 10 meter waktu itu..boong banget!!!!). Well, the name of our class was ENJOYERS, soalnya kita adalah mahluk yang enjoy sekaleee namun tetap bertanggung jawab...

Here it is, ENJOYERS, Class of ’99, SMUN 8 Jakarta.

I miss you all.

Dengan diam?!

2005-07-28T14:51:00.000+08:00

sebagian pemikiran lebih baik tetap tak terucap
sebagian perasaan lebih baik tetap disimpan
Tetapi cinta mempunyai cara mengungkapkan
dirinya sendiri kendati dengan diam

What can I say,.....
Thanks, You're so sweet ( deuu GR deh gue )

I miss something

2005-07-27T05:38:00.000+08:00

How I miss that one fine saturday during the mid-term break.
We headed to this wonderland to have some fun.
Though it was far beautiful from the Disneyland,
We enjoyed ourselves by sharing joy and laughter.
It was beautiful day with beautiful fellows of mine.
Ah, when am I going to indulge my self like this lady.
Anyway, Let these pictures speak for themselves.
I miss something greater than that,
or Maybe I just miss someone so badly ;)?
Enjoy!!!

Maniz n Zeli had competition with the buble gum, who do you think was the winner?

How about that? I taught Zeli n Tuba to sing Potong Bebek Angsa dengan gayanya sekalian,
Well done huh? They love that song so much :)

WHaT a FiNe SaTurday AfterNoon....

fish anyone? It's golden fish anyway :D
Inside the shopping mall, there's gondolas-alike sailing along the river

And I miss this day when the picture was taken,
14th February 2005, It was the Bday of My Lovely sister
Manezha Sukhanyar. She's from Afghanistan but lived her life
mostly in China, India and Bangladesh as her father was ambassador in those countries.
She's my best friend and I treat her like my own sister.
I called her Chibby...coz her cheeks were chubby, but not anymore.
Nowadays I call her Afghani Chicken ( lol)..coz she becomes skinny day by day
Dont tell her ok ;)
She's the one wearing pinkish salwar khameez and white scarf.

Sarah, Maniz, Tamanna, Me n Nabila

I guess enough pictures for today or maybe even for the whole week?;)
who knows maybe I'll be in the mood of digging photos in my hard drive and post them here.
Take care peole....

Personality Quiz

2005-07-25T12:06:00.000+08:00

Atas anjuran Ibu yang satu ini, maka di pagi yang cerah ini, saya pun memutuskan untuk mencoba quiz kepribadian ganda ( bcanda ding..;) yang hasilnya ..well....90-95% accurate gituh....mau tau siapakah saya sebnernya...Tadaaaaa......
Benar tidaknya....terserah anda ( mode iklan )...but really, cobalah quiz ini dan buktikan hasilnya...itu iklan apa ya..kaya'nya pernah muncul di TV....
ahh....sepertinya yang mature part-itu terlalu berlebihan untuk saya... ;D

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Are you Busy?

2005-07-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

Kangen nge blog, sudah hampir seminggu nda nge-blog rasanya gimana gitu.
Apakah saya begitu sibuknya? Tidak juga :D.
The thing is that I have so many stories to share but dunno where to start
udah gitu, Usb cable digicam ketinggalan di jakarta, jadi nda bisa upload foto2x baru di blog, menjadi salah satu penyebab menurunnya semangat ngeblog ( Alasan banget ).
So, just wait sampe kiriman mama tiba di KL hehe..trus saya bisa transfer foto and nulis panjan2x..( Emang siapa yang mo baca )...sedih..hiks.
so see u all in few days Insha Allah :)
Till then...suabar ajah yaaa....deuuu....

Smilling :D

2005-07-15T12:50:00.000+08:00

#Listening to Michael Buble Cd#

Mr Buble sings his heart for me tonite yay!
"I can only give you love that last forever..."I love this song
my oh my...Mr Buble you steal my heart away dah....boong banget
Btw, wanna know what happened on wed nite?( supposed it was on tuesday)Remember my post about Late sms?ouch, it turned out amazing :) smilling..smilling...but wait, ayo..jangan pada curiga yaahh..saya jalan2x bersama sepupu sayah tercintah, Dan beliau berhasil membuat saya kembali tersenyum, Really smilling from my heart.
Hmm, tommorow morning I'm going back to KL,yaaaa...cuma bentar liburnya hehe..wong balik mulu ini, maybe after two months pas ada libur tengah semester seminggu...
tadi sholat maghrib jamaah sama mama, trus tidur2x di pangkuan beliau while she was doing dizkr, what a pleasure, I felt so serene...
After that mama ngasih nasihat yang membuat mata berkaca-kaca, oh how luck I am to have such an adorable Mum like her, kaya'nya kadang2x suka ngerasa nggak deserve to have a Mom like her. Wanna make her happy Insya Allah...
Tambah semangat nih jadinya, batere udah di recharge....You Go Girl!!!
Doain ya safe journey, sayah udah pernah ngasih tau kan, I hate flying.
Last time pergi ke Toronto yang transit di Hongkong, duh satu buku doa udah khatam dibaca hehe :D ada bagusnya juga tambah mendekatkan diri kepada Allah..laaa bilang aja nggak percaya diri...As my friend Zeli said once she flied with me.." Aisha....do you realize sumthin? we're flying..in a machine..." dengan tampangnya yang pucet pasi..wakkaaaa..pengen ketawa tapi nggak tega...ternyata masih ada yang lebih parah lagi dari dirikuww....
maaf ya Zeli,...didnt mean to laugh at your fear.
Sekarang semua di rumah ini dah pada tidur, udah kam 12 malem,
I guess it's time to sleep....
Have a nice weekend everyone. :)

You'll be fine

2005-07-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

My Dear, sorry to hear that you're not feeling well.
It's your heart, you said. Ouch, Pls take care.
I'm struggling here with paperworks and sleazy mood.
I miss you.

Late SmS

2005-07-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

" You owe me one fine evening in a cozy place somewhere nearby

so we can blast out our pathetic side as human beings into

a full bowl of pleasant conversation,

a cup of silly tears and of course a plate of sweet delicacies

You owe me ears to listen, heart to bear and shoulder to cry on."

Deal!!!.

Tuesday evening, Just wait and see...

Mengunjungi Bandung

2005-07-11T07:31:00.000+08:00

Mengunjungi Bandung, kota yang menyimpan sekotak kenangan di penghujung senja. Usiaku saat itu tepat18 tahun ketika pertama kali menjejakan harap pada kota dengan kesederhanaannya yang menjanjikan. Aku menyukainya pada kali pertama kami bertatap. Masih kuingat dengan jelas, gempita suka cita saat hasil Ujian Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri diumumkan dan namaku tetulis di pojok atas surat kabar pagi itu telah merubah separuh haluan hidupku..
Saat itu, degupan yang tertahan akan petualangan hidup yang baru akan dimulai.
Jalan Ganeshaku yang temaram, dan Masjid Salman tempat berkeluh kesah kepada Rabb-ku selepas kelas dan praktikum yang penat menjadi sahabat yang tak terpisahkan.
Nadiku adalah jalan dago dan sibuknya lalu lintas pagi hari. Setelah hampir dua tahun tidak menyapa sang paris van java, aku sungguh rindu. Begitu banyak yang ingin kutulis tentang rendezvous kami kali ini, namun kata-kata seakan terbang bersama gemuruh yang berkecamuk di dada. Kali ini aku kembali ke Bandung untuk mengambil Kotak kenangan terakhir yang kutitipkan bersama sahabat setia yang tak pernah mendua. Sebagian hatiku yang tertinggal, aku memutuskan untuk mengambilnya dan menyatukannya kembali untuk selamanya, dan untuk semuanya, aku bersyukur tidak menyesal….

Birthday

2005-07-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

My beloved Mum turns 45 yo today and I simply bedazzled by the way she handles life .
I'm proud of her and Thank Allah for giving me this opportunity to be her significant other.

I love her....so much....Ya Rabb....

Miscellaneous Post

2005-07-07T08:59:00.000+08:00

Berbicara hati
Ada yang kelu di sudut mataku
Airmata yang tertahan
Tentunya sekarang kita lebih bahagia
Semoga…

Home Sweet Home.

I’ve been home for four days and I feel so comfortable.
Home is my sanctuary from all the catastrophe and hectic routines in the office.
The last three months life was busy and demanding for me, as I started my carrier in Finance division. Finally, I’m able to take a break and going back home.
So here I am, right in the east side of Jakarta , pampering and indulging my self with piles of books, home made gourmets, healthy jokes, and the most important…Mum’s Love.
Some friends keep on asking me about what’s been going on in my life recently as I posted a poem, quite sappy I guess;) and a kind of self-acknowledgment for being lame and pathetic romance-addict ( or what so ever, I simply call it that way ).
Yeah, Life seems not as easy to bear as before. I try to cope with my problems maturely, not to mention how many nights I break down and cry for Allah’s blessing in my life.
I do believe certain things and it does happen naturally in my life as a evidence of the power of “invisible hand”. When I ask Allah for the best thing to happen in my life, I purely surrender my maktoob ( destiny) to Allah . Even when the answer of my pray is certainly hurting a bit of my human-ego, yet I submit to God’s will.
When I walked down the Mahallah hafsa ( apartment in University), I noticed these writings on one of the wall there,

It’s so true…..
By the way, for my sis in Hampshire,I’m fine Alhamdulillah so don’t worry, if you don’t believe that I may post up some of my recent pictures with those big fake happy smile on my face..haha..just joking!!!
Anyway, this afternoon, I’ve been cleaning up my closet and look what I found...

A pair of black Mark& Spencer size 5 shoes or should I call it sandals or ?? ( pls bear my dumbness in the name of shoes classification ) which I bought around 4 years ago to attend my cousin's wedding party. The story behind these shoes or sandals or whatsoever…was that I never..never in my whole life wear anything like that ( meaning that it’s categorized as so high-high heels for me). My cousin reminded me that nite when I bought these shoes that I would never able to wear them properly, and please underline the properly part.
And I hate to admit that she was right, heck I bought them still.
After that wedding reception night, I cleaned and threw them into my closet, to be locked there eternally and forgotten ( what a mean shoes’ owner I am wakakaaa..).
But wait, don’t misinterpret my attitude towards this particular shoes as I treat my pair of “oh-so comfortable” black low-boots as my blood-sisters to accompany me wherever and whenever I go. Even, my friends in University would easily recognized my presence by those lovely black boots park somewhere in front of Masjid, classes, rooms, swimming pools, Gyms, jogging track(?), and even clinic. Yupp, I love those Rotelli-black boots like anything that even I have pairs of other lovely shoes, I insist to wear them wherever I go. My mom reminds me so many times to replace them but I don’t have the heart to do it ( ah, what a melancholy person I am ..sigh)
I fancy shoes not sandals for a refutable reason, I can only walk on shoes not sandals…what to do…..I just can’t help it .
It’s drizzling rain outside or just my imagination? I miss rain.
Oh, what did I mention before? I feel so comfortable staying home all day? Yeah that’s all rite for me but wait until you see what kind of books that I must read now?
Well, believe your eyes, they are healthy, but not my mood, it’s totally wreck now because I have to finish my report before 11th July and I have to bring along those thick and not good-looking books with me and here I am,…..pampering, indulging, and torturing my self to stay up late and finishing my report for the clients and my department as well. I mailed my supervisor today to tell him that I might be late to submit my report so pls disregard it in the marking scheme..oh my….
Somebody help…….
Before I forget, I promised some friends to post up the pictures of the women sport complex in my University and the side wall of swimming pool that I climbed with my Turkish-gank..haha…, so tell me, was it high enough to give me credit as a wall climber, I don’t think so;).
Enjoy !!!

I Thought...

2005-07-06T02:32:00.000+08:00

I though this time would be much easier to say goodbye to someone whom you give your heart to. But still, it hurts me like anything. Who said the first cut is the deepest? Instead of being recklessly romantic and swinging mood person, I do have a space for my sanity and understanding of how things being done, or should be done.For the last few days I’ve been holding up my feeling in front of Mum and Dad. Seldom have I acted as if I was not affected by those turbulences in my life. At least my parents see me as happy as before. Allah knows my heart better, so silence might be the most appropriate way to convey my innermost feeling toward him.

2005-07-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

Episode Perempuan dan Rembulan

I

Sebuah cinta ditulis dengan pena seorang perempuan
Bersama doa dibenam tasbih duka kerinduan
Bukan main berlimpah rahmat yang di beri
Namun hanya sebatas kerongkongan kata terperi

Perempuan di semerbak usia
Mengerti hidup melalui barisan aksara
Entah maya dunia menyelimuti hati
Seperti pertama sukmanya bersemi

Ia mecinta sebagian diri yang fana
Tiada mendua apa dan siapa
Kerasnya hati memadamkan asa
Duhai bunda kemana perginya jasa

Perempuan dalam belaian purnama
Yang dikeningnya ada setitik noda
Bekas tamparan tak lekang waktu
Menyisakan segumpal ragu

Ia bertanya pada Tuhannya
Jika masa diberi akankah datang
Bersama cinta yang dijanjikan
Karena jasad lapuk mengintai maut

Sebuah rindu ditulis dengan tinta airmata
Yang jatuh satu-satu di atas sajadah senja
Pada sujud panjangnya ia bersikukuh
Hidup akan terus mengalir bersama waktu…

Jakarta, 3rd July 05
For My Aya,
Mba sayang dan selalu berdoa yang terbaik tuk Aya

Safe Journey

2005-07-01T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'm going home tommorow Insha Allah, pls pray for me and...

Siapa yang mau nitip oleh- oleh? :)

Dan seperti biasa, ade'ku sayang ngirim sms permintaan , aku copy paste ajah ya isi smsnya'

Assalammuálaikum! mba, aku mau nitip CD RW Merek PLEXTOR, Tp kalo mahal nda usah, Hati2x ya Mba, Miss you..Mmuaah wassalam.

setiap balik jakarta, selalu ada pesanan, dan yang lucunya, gak tanggung2x , pernah mesen printer. Lah, emang gimana bawanya n di jakarta kan buanyak bgt. Dakupun menuduh.."dede pengen gratisan ya..huahahha..."Berhubung adeku lagi blajar ilmu komputer, maka sebagai mba yang baik hati, ya seneng2x ajah belinya demi kemajuan akademik sang adik...deuuuu..segitunya yah.

Oia, udah beberapa hari ini kan aku nda nge-blog soalnya.....

Di Malaysia lagi peak period buat Tax Submission gituh, dan sebagai Accountant aku pun kalang kabut lembur terusss...sedih....hiksss. Kamis kemarin hari terakhirku di office, Alhamdulillah aku ngerasa cukup puas dengan kerjaku walaupun cuma training ajah. Sekarang resminya seh, aku dapet kerja, hehe...dari temenku. Dia ngeset-up company di Dubai, Malaysia n Spore, so aku kebagian ngurusin Accounting Dept di Malaysia. Aku dah bilang, bahwa I dont mind about the salary as long as I got experiences from my job. Temenku tuh married dengan American sister convert dan anak2xnya luttu, cute sekali, Sara n Nura. Keluarganya ngajakin aku ke Dubai jalan2x..hmm..mau mau..wong dibayarin trus...sekalian ajah aku nyeletuk.. gimana kalo diterusin Umrah sekalian ( maunyaaa...). and you know what they said "you're most welcome Aisha". Tapi masalahnya hubbyku kan sekarang di Toronto, dan aku kan harus ada mahramnya gitu loh. Ntar takut terjadi hal-hal yang tidak diinginkan ( apa ayoooo).

Semalam mama nelpon, duh kangennya, si Yayang ( panggilanku buat mama ) udah nyiapin macem2x, and my cousin , udah siap nganterin jalan-jalan. Gantian kan pas beliau ke Spore n KL, gw yang nganterin. Si mas-ku yang satu ini mesen wanita seperti Siti Nurhaliza, dimana nyarinya..kalo ada banyak, gak mungkin Siti bisa ngetop..logikanya.....aduh Mas..mas..

Tapi dia nih cousin yang paling deket ama aku, udah aku panas2x in buat married, tapi nda tau ya....belum dapat hidayah ( loh, nikah juga pake hidayah kan? )....dia workaholic bgt.

Udah dulu ya...pls doain safe journey...

Honestly, I dont like flying, but what can I do? :(

See you around people :)

Weekend Ceria

2005-06-28T02:07:00.000+08:00

Assalammu'alaikum,

Pakabar semua? ( Deu kesannya "semua" tuh pada rajin baca blog saya gitu...;)

Alhamdulillah wiken kemarin bener2x ceria. Hari sabtu, No work, no seleep early and of course bangun lebih lambat ( abis subuh tiduuur lagi Yuhuu...gembira amat ya saya ini ). Suasana kampus sepi tapi tiba2x saya dikejutkan oleh.....kedatangan kawan-kawan baru...ada yang dari Kenya, Turkey, mana lagi ya..pokoknya banyak. Dan mereka tumplek blek di kamar . Kenapa bisa begitu? sebab:

1. Kawan tercintah saya , Nona Zeliha ( yang ada di foto itu ) ngejemput countrymatenya di Airport dan ketemu sama anak2x baru lainnya, dan while those new girls were seemed like " anak ayam kehilangan induknya", maka Zeli memutuskan untuk mengangkut semuanya dan didrop di kamar saya ( sebagian di kamar dia juga sih. ).

dengan tampang kucel baru bangun tidur dan belum gosok gigi ( jadi malu ), saya pun menyambut mereka....

Me: Assalammu'alaikum, welcome...welcome....( dengan gaya salesgirl gituh)....hehe

buru buru cabut ke toilet and cuci muka gosok gigi..Jreng Jreng....kembali dengan wajah segar dan ceria....:D.

Udah gitu mereka keliatannya laper...( waduh...piye to...), dan dengan ramah tamah ala Indonesia saya pun menawarkan untuk memasakkan sesuatu buat mereka. Mikir0mikir apa yang singkat padat dan tepat...O lala...masakin pasta aja yah, tapi gak ada unsur meaty-nya gitu soalnya kita belom belanja buat wiken while kita cuma masak during wiken aja. ( By the way my friends here call me " meaty girl " coz I cannot eat without meat or chicken or at least telor gitu loh). Sreng Osereng.... Alhamdulillah cepet mateng dan dihidangkan...

Oiya...temen baru yang nginep di kamarku namanya Syaz, she's Kenyan with British Mum.

She's nice young girl, so gw harus behave ...haha emang biasanya gimana ya?

Ok....Truzz.....ngapain lagi

sekitar jam 5 sore, Turkish gank udah pada ribut ....mereka rupanya pingin berenang....

Tubanur : Aisha...do u want to swim with us

Me: Yupp, I'm coming....waiiiitttttt...

manizha: ohh, I want to come as well

Me and Tuba: No way sweetie, you're sick, and your nose is running..hehhehe..

manizha....: hmm, so bad... ( dengan tampang anak kecil ngambek )....

Me' :Manizz..where is my swim suit....

Manizha " I left it in the swimming pool last week

Me : Whatttt???? ( bingung setengah tidak percaya)

manizha: Gottchaaaaaa!!!!!!....

Me: Grrr....udah tau lagi buru2x, soalnya Tuba n de gank dah sipa dari tadi ntar daku ditinggal kan gak seru...

Setelah semua siap, maka rombongan pun segera berjalan menuju sport komplek yang berlokasi tidak jauh dari Mahallah( hostel or apartment for student inside Uni).

Sampai di sana, udah banyak sisters dari yang kecil ampe yang gede nungguin kolam renangnya di buka, mereka tidak menyadari bahwa...Tidaaaakkkkk

" We're closed on saturday and Monday "......Rupa-rupanya, gak buka...sedih, monangis tapi gak lucu....yang udah repot bawa baby dari luar campus pun tampak kecewa, namun mereka melanjutkan piknik di deket danau . Tapi kita ( me n friends) tidak begitu saja menyerah. Kita emang suka manjat tembok ( bakat spiderman or apa yah..). Tengok kanan- kiri....Yess. gak ada orang...kita muter jalan belakang karena all those sisters pada di gate depan.....buruan deh, menyingsingkan lengan baju ( gak ding)....saya sendiri pake flare skirt waktu itu, Alhamdulillah di dalemnya ada trouser lagi so, beneran deh menyisngsingkan skirt dan siap memanjat....

yang pertama berhasil adalah Guljan, she's really cool,....haha...her cheeks were blusing as we clapped our hands for her success trial-error program memanjat kali ini.

You go girl!!...

seterusnya saya..ya betul.....saya...perempuan yang kalau maen lompat tali aja gak pernah berhasil melewati sebatas pinggang....sedihnya masa kecilku....

saya memberanikan diri manjat...why? karena..niat pingin berenang yang kuat setelah sekian lama tidak menyentuh air kolam or sungai or sebangsanya...ya kalo di Jakarta kan masih suka ada banjir dan deket rumah saya ada swimming pool yang buat cewek loh, jadi nda usah jauh-jauh .dengan membaca Bismillah.....maka...saya mulai memanjat dan, when I arrived on the top, AGGHHH.....tidaaakk...dan temen2x pun mulai ketawa ngeliat tingkah saya yang awalnya pd berani gitu. But then Guljan guide me slowly through the rest process...Alhamdulillah berhasil..And..swimming pool here we come....

Berenang ampe keriput, trus balik ke Mahallah, cook dinner, and makan bareng bareng orang segambreng termasuk anak baru....senangnya...senangnya......

Hubby nelpon pas kita dah selesai, and he was having his breakfast there.kaciaan..sarapan sendiri..jadi sedih juga neh ingetnya. Sabar, sabar n tawakal.

Tidur awal soalnya on Sunday ada yang ngajakin jalan-jalan gratisan, wah kalau yang ini tidak boleh dilewatkan...

cerita selanjutnya ntar lagi ya...

( btw, hari ini bolos kerja soalnya nganterin anak2x baru ke Uni buat ngurus ini itu n persiapan bual welcoming program besok, gak tau mau bilang apa ke bos, and here I am...ngeblog di library yang duingin tenan , di samping sayah ada Nona Zeli n Tuba yangt nggak tau kalau mereka sekarang udah lumayan ng-top gara2x sering deiceritain di blog..hehe ).

Pulang Kampung

2005-06-24T22:26:00.000+08:00

KAMPUS BIRU TERCINTA

Alhamdulillah, Kuala lumpur- Jakarta tu deket, jadi bisa lumayan sering pulang kampung.
Seperti sekarang ini, kampus tercinta udah sepi...kosong....huu..sedihnya
yang ngambil subject dah bye bye dari minggu kemarin, tinggal kita2x yang Practical Training aja
nunggu sampai the end of June. but Insya Allah, tanggal 2 July, next saturday, I'll be home again.

Last nite, we had farewell part with sister fatma from Turkey, she has finished her PhD and going back for good ? ( I hope not coz we'll miss her). There's something about her that will make you simply adore her. She's a woman in her early 40s, married with two boys .Very active and Energetic masya Allah. Contohnya, kita udah cuapeek banget balik dari kelas seharian dengan muka kucel tapi tetep berseri ( loh?) dan ketemu dia yang masih seger dan dengean semangatnya ngajakin kita swimming and maen Volley ball di Women sport complex, tidaaaakkk.. " Sorry Fatmabla ( Fatma Abla- abla means elder sister ), we're so tired. Maybe next time Insha Allah " hehe, itu adalah jawaban otomatis yang keluar dari sistem metabolisme kita yang udah K.O. Jadi maluu.... ama si Ibu yang sehat wal afiat. Oiya, Fatmabla's husband is one of the minister in Turkish parliament, so waktu ada bencana Tsunami di Aceh, beliau termasuk yang dlm rombongan yg datang ke Aceh. Temen-temen Turkish yang lainpun sibuk nyiapin barang2x yang bisa disumbangin ke sana. Kita juga bikin bazar makanan ( Masya Allah, mereka tuh pinter banget masak, kaya siapa ya..hehe..Mommynya Deeja kali ya :D). Fatmabla aktif di politik, tapi berhubung dia pake hijab ( scarf), makanya dia cuma bisa jadi the person behind the screen aja, dan suaminya lah yang terjun secara langsung di politik. Kalau dilihat dari statitic Turkish student yang ada di Uni ini, most of them are doing Political science,karena mereka niat banget pingin ngerubah sistem berpolitik dan kebijakan pemerintahnya , terutama untuk memperbolehkan pelajar sekolah dan university and those who work for goverment to wear scarf. As we all know about the headscarf- ban in Turkey which leads into education discrimination for those who wear scarf ( hijab).They cannot attend school and university. That's the reason why many Turkish girls come to Malaysia to study with a decent budget while those who want to study sciences, medical or engineering mostly go to Europe , specially Germany. However, ada satu yayasan dari UK ( Ar Rahma Society ) yang ngasih scholarship buat mereka yang blajar di sini . Alhamdulillah, temen-temenku tuh punya semangat tinggi dalam memegang teguh prinsip mereka, and realita yang mereka hadapi membuat saya lebih banyak bersyukur ke pada Allah karena di Indonesia and Malaysia, hak dan kewajiban untuk memakai scarf ini belum mendapat tantangan yang berarti ( maksudnya tidak se-ekstrim sampai national -ban gitu resmi dari govt.) Dan saya lebih bersyukur lagi ketika melihat kawan-kawan SMU di jakarta n kuliah di Bandung saya dulu yang pada dapet beasiswa ke Jepang dan negara-negara lain mereka justru menemukan keindahan berislam di sana. Kalau ngomongin teman-teman saya di Uni ini memang nggak ada abisnya.So Insya Allah nanti sambung lagi ya. Di bawah ini,saya postingin foto yang diambil last Ied-ul-Adha selepas sholat Eid. fatmabla yang pake baju krem paling pinggir sebelah kanan :).

Dari kiri ke kanan: Tuba, Me, Maryam ( Afghan), Amine,Fatma, Zeliha, Fatmabla

Jongkok di bawah : Sarah ( India ) and Aishe

Chemistry

2005-06-24T02:42:00.000+08:00

Today, I dare my self to place a shoutbox n a pic of my self in this blog.
It's kinda funny though as I've been blogging since 2 years ago but never had a gut to introduce this blog officially ( smilling ). For most of the bloggerians , it's quite easy to post a comment on someone's blog and start the conversation or even initiate a friendship. As for me, I hardly do it for many reason. Until one day, I was bedazzled by a beautiful minded lady whose writtings have inspired me to do better things in my life.
I decide to blog and I love it. It does not really matter how many people visiting your blog or how many links to it, leave comments and so on, as long as you feel good about what you think and what you write.
When I was doing my pharmacy degree, I get used to think scientifically ( ceileeeh bahasanya ), and tried my best to understand the secret behind all those formulas. I was beginning to think about my ultimate reason for doing pharmacy anyway.It might be because I love chemistry more than mathematic and physic. Why? simply coz it's more intuitive and less calculations ( salut gue ama yang jago fisika n matematika). Some of my close friends argue that I'm so unreal, meaning that I love imagination thingies, poems, and those sappy love stories I've been watching over and over again, and dream for prince charming to take my hands beneath the silhouette of moonlight ( adduuwww nggak kuat banget, norak tau!!!).But I guess it's not so accurate profile to depict my self. At the end of the say, I'm just a young girl who fall in love with a total stranger and marry him for a complete strange reasons. Alhamdulillah, I thank God for all the lesson in my life and for giving me loads and loads of chance to repent and become a better Muslim.

I'm Feeling Blue...

2005-06-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

I'm felling so blue, and it's not becoz of de pic. Hubby said, You look so "sad in de pic while it was taken when you were having so called the greatest weekend of all with manizha".

Could he simply understand the reason why instead of asking me why....

Allah knows how I feel and I just feel enough.

Enough is enough, oh Ya Rabb pls strengthen my heart not to shatter again.

...I miss mama so badly.

Insha Allah next weekend I'll be home again.

Get Well Soon

2005-06-21T12:10:00.000+08:00

Manizha is sick, I'm worry about her,
Pls get well soon my chibby.

What kind of girl are you?

2005-06-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

Weekend is here,
Alhamdulillah nggak harus pergi kerja
btw, sebenernya gw bukannya beneran kerja, cuma practical training aja.
This morning I went to my supervisor office and he just came back from Umra,
Well, Uni is empty as final exam going on and tommorow will be the last day while
me and those who are doing PT , we have to stay until 30th, Oh Noo..hehe
I'm going back on 2nd of July to Jakarta Insha Allah.
so here I'm in home sweet library... browsing and blog walking.
No body knows about my blog except few people....
gue gak pede gitu mau ngepublish this blog buat public...
Tapi gw seneng bisa "virtually" meet those lovely and nice poeple from blog world.
btw, I took this quiz and ...tadaaaaa....

You're the innocent girl next door. You are
friendly, cheerful, kind, and happy. You like
to spread your happiness around making people
feel warm and joyous. To do this you like to
bake cookie and muffins while giving kind
compliments. Plus you actually give apples to
your teachers. You're pure and innocent and
most likely haven't broken many rules. Everyone
loves you. How can they not?

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by

I Don't Have The Heart

2005-06-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

I was half- sleeping when he called me on 2 am this morning.
Speerti yang udah gw duga, I dont have the heart to say...
Kalau pada saat ini gw ngomong yang sebenarnya gw inginkan,
Pasti dia mikirnya " istri macem apa gw ini"
btw, I got my mood back and thanks so much for sister M, Z and T
Love you sooo muccchhhh
Hmm, kata sahabat gw, diriku banyak banget berbuah semenjak married
but my own hubby does not realize it,
of course sebab kita nggak tinggal satu atap
yang ada bawaaannya gw sedih mulu dari semenjak married,
knapa ya, kalo bener cinta akan bikin seseorang bahagia,
so knapa gw nangis mulu.
I'm such a jolly and witty person, tapi kl gw baca entry2x gue belakangan ini
wuiihhh sedih bombay banget gak seeeh
bukan gw banget
kalo di kantor, they always said that I'm so hilarious,
bikin suasana sumpek jadi meriah kaya pesta kembang api
tapi kalo ama hubby
beda banget, dia tuh lebih serious, deep- minded bgt
Iya, emang kita kudu serius tapi kan
gw juga masih muda,
well 24 years old indeed ;-)
Mommy told me untuk Memohon yang terbaik dari Allah
Dan Hanya yang Terbaik
bukan Yang kita Inginkan untuk sekarang ini
karena yang menurut kita baik belum tentu baik di sisi Allah dan kita nda tau
apa akibatnya untuk masa yang akan datang,
Makanya jangan menggurui kalo berdoa pingin ini pingin itu
belum tentu yang kita pinginin bener2x bermanfaat
phewww, kok jadi gini ya
I told him that I miss him,
tapi basi banget
kemungkinan besar gw nda bisa ke Toronto krn
my only bro gonna get married next July Insha Allah
Gw berdoa, from my deepest heart
Semoga Deyang ( ade sayang) dan Aya bisa jadi pasangan
yang bahagia, keluarga sakinah mawaddah warahmah
dan sepertinya, gw akan banyak belajar dari mereka
untuk yang ini, gw nda malu belajar dari yang lebih muda
I'm so proud of u bro'

Irony

2005-06-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

My friend,
She's beautiful
Dean's list student
Great Debator
Faithfull friend
One night she fought for her honour
Everybody stood by her side
Las night she cried
Our Uni's moron legal unit had made her
attended the silliest trial I ever heard
The result was suspension to enroll in her Final semester
She had to go back to her country
for a bloody honourable misconduct
against Idiot authority in this Uni
Everybody left her behind
So Ironic!!!!!
"Indeed, We pray for her safe journey next week
please don't shed a tear Jaan,
This Campus does not deserve a brilliant girl like you
Say my salam to your lil baby sister Hanan
we will miss you

Words

2005-06-14T16:56:00.000+08:00

Finally, Alhamdulillah, Those words were spoken,
After few sleepless nights,those words were spoken
clearly and poignantly, yet I failed to understand
what were those words mean for...
Thank you for making my life so unbearable for the last few weeks
I'm glad to finally catch up things happened in your life
Next time just briefly explain and Dont bother to care
Anyway I've learned to be selfishly act behalf of my stubborn ego
For that, I won't beg your pardon.

Ouch, my contemplation seems to be worthless
But anyway, I will give him a try
to just break this shattered heart once again
and that's it,
I'm leaving.

What the....

2005-06-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

A less than one minute call.
Subway.
No signal???
click. off.
shattered heart.
wondering
how? why?
emails.
She made her mind.
This time
There's no way to turn back

What A Morning

2005-06-08T09:43:00.000+08:00

As early as I start my day,
as early as he spills on my heart
of couse he needs to have a really good rest
and I was about to eat my heart out
after reading the stroy of "pemulung"
who carries his daughter dead body along the way
because has no money left in his pocket
to give proper burrial for her.
It is so sad,
and what the heck am I doing here
selfishly thinking about my self, my own stupid ego
and my Muslim brothers and sisters out there
are craving for their life.
I dont blame the people,
I blame my self, my silly tinny grey cells
who occupied me with wasted dreams and wishes
Wake up girl!!!!
it's time for you to do something for your people
For the sake of this ummah.
I'm so sorry dear khaerunisa,
May your little sould rest in eternal serenity
Allah SWT must have placed you with the Angels by now.
Pls forgive me.

Love,
Your ignorant sister

Promises

2005-06-07T13:56:00.000+08:00

Ya Rabb,
If I promise to love him for his love for You
May you enlighten my sad soul with Your Nur
For my husband whom I love dearly in my heart
Shall his heart be eased from the pain and burden
Our loves know no boundary indeed
Shadow lingers eternally beneath us
Since the oath made upon Your Name
I beg to be united in such moment
Where happines has no default form
But the air that we breath

Ya Rabb,
I called Thee name for the Gracious
Shall My love for him need not be defined
Then embrace his solitude heart with warmthness
Even the hardest stone could be turned into ashes
I do believe he would be melted in a way
That only You could define
What I have is my blunted tears
a piece of love and a slice of hope

Ya Rabb,
May he fears to be engulfed in my wishes
Would You adore him more than I deserve
As for his companion is significant for me
Your unquestionable judgement shall reveal
Our sincerity will be tested
Until this time
I love him for his love for You

Into The Mirror

2005-05-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

She blasted out in a river of tears lastnite
wondering why in the world she had to fight with her significant other
she was dilluted by her own imagination...
If loneliness kills, it did kill her from the first time he left her behind...
she turned the page of her memory loads,
a piece of his smile was on the first page!!!
maybe she was just missing him so much
yeah.....it was just a goofy old feeling about missing
someone so badly....

The feeling 3

2005-04-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

She did not feel well today and wanted to throw out everytime,
it might be because the cold AC in her office, or because of her loneliness
She called him today just to hear his voice, and she wondered why in the world
he had to mention about no time to call while one or two minutes are worthy for
hearing the lover's voice...
There was a fire rescue protocol today and she had to walk down from 16th floor
to ground floor, but it was quite ok for a practice, hopefully there would never be
any real fire.
does it sound silly if she miss him, but she scared that if she misses him so much,
her feeling could turn in to hatred, and she does not want to hate him,
it would be the last thing on earth she wanna do.
slowly but amazingly, she decided to stop thinking about him
she knows that he will try his best and Allah knows what's best for them
she better keep her mouth shutted and hold on to her prayers.....

The Feeling 2

2005-04-25T14:32:00.000+08:00

She mesmerized every moment she spent with him and she thanked Allah for that.
She had this strange feeling that she might not see him for a such long time and
just by thinking this possibility, she was drawn and feeling pathetic.
She gained weight for there is less and lesser possibility for her to meet her beloved one
in a short time, she was wondering why should she is looking beautiful if there is no one
to "taste and admire" her beauty.
She could not belief if sometimes he become so hopeless and under pressured.
She wanted him the way he is and she knows that no matter how hard she tried,
she will always living under his shadow forever...
Allah has set her heart for him although they come from two different backgrounds and
she does not mind all the differences as long as they can get along together.
She loves simplicity while he prefers more complexcity in life by looking through the windows of so called " future's life"...
All she wants is him and a comfortable life which seems hardly reached by them.
He has some unsolved problems and would most probably caused difficulty in ther future lifes
and she has most of the time physcology problems.
He was so upset by the way she communicate her ideas and opinions and condemned them as impolite way to deal with a man with the status as a husband.
She argued alot and yet her man managed to calm and soothe her worriness.
He is so different untill certain unacceptable level that drives his woman mad.
She is extrovert while he is introvert; she is more social and friendly while he is back-stage person who loves to work by his own and hardly accept critics and orders.
Yet, they might spend their lives together ....
And for that, she keeps her heart for a solitude pray coz for this moment,
only God knows what's going one in their lives......

The Feeling

2005-04-25T14:07:00.000+08:00

She started her day by a phone call and she was pleased for that.
Her significant other called her from the land over the sea, a far far away place that she oftenly
mentioned as a cold blooded land where its people lives an indigenous life, and the only way to
survive is by mind your own business and give a damn with other's.
But this is not the way her beloved one lives his life for most of the time. He is so different, eventhough
His way of thinking is his significant attraction for her.
the way he approached things and maintained the balance amazed her in some other ways that even he himself could not understand.
She loves him much, hence she has the heart to hate him in certain things. She wonders why in the world two people in love should sacrifise their feelings to be far away from each other.
Indeed she was dissapointed by his unspoken attitude. She is grown to find herself in the socialite environment where poeple respect and admire her intellegence, and cozy warm place called home where she could hide from the world and the evilness of humanity while her man was grown in a tough and demanding environment where only those who has greater power could survive and he is one of the survival in his time.
She could ever asked anything from him but the only thing that she ever wanted seemed so far away from her and that drives her mad. She wants him only for her, to take care of her.
She loves him so dearly without possibility to flourish the love each and every day.
......................................................................................................................................................................

Menguji Hati

2004-09-08T17:12:00.000+08:00

Rupanya kita sedang menguji hati,
siapa yang akan bertahan diam lebih lama antara engkau dan aku ataukah hanya kebisuan belaka
cinta itu ku sembunyikan dari sesiapa seperti ku sembunyikan cintaku padamuwalau tak lagi kutau bentuk cinta yang kurasa
Dan engkau berniat menjadikanku yang keduabukan sebagai hukuman justru ketaatan yang kau puja
bukankah langit tak selamanya berawan
saat kau siram hujan dari badaimu.
Aku menunggu dengan satu kepastianbahwa kau akan berpaling selamanya..
.untuk itumasih kah aku harus menunggu?

Menangis

2004-07-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

Hidup adalah bermain makna
Bermula dari buaian sampai pusara
untukmu aku berdoa
Wahai yang dijunjung cinta
Semoga Allah mengaruniakan
hati dan bahagia
untuk menjaga bakal jiwa ini

Mengertikah

2004-07-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

Ku eja namamu terbata bata
satu demi satu aksara
terdengarkah
pijar lampu neon di kamarku
membutakan mata hati
aku terdiam
kupanggil kau seluruh
penuh lantang bergema
kau terdiam
wanita datang atas nama cinta
rindu yang sebenar
mengertikah

Entah

2004-06-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

Kawanku yang cantik,
Ia menangis
katanya semua sudah berakhir
Lelaki bodoh dan picik
Kelak ia akan menyesal
Entah
Aku merasa sangat beruntung

Pulang

2004-06-14T07:15:00.000+08:00

Tak terasa bergulir
waktu dan airmata
Rembulan kembar dihalang senja
Aku akan pulang ke Timur
Sayang, Rindu in kekal untukmu
senyum dan kecupmu disela doa
Mengapa Mawar yang kulukis berkabut
ataukah pandanganku yang berawan.
patah-patah kubenamkan tasbih
di sela tulang belikat
mengikat perih yang kelu
seperti bibirku
mata yang berkaca
Kemudian Sunyi
Aku mencari hatimu di sujud sepi
mengais maghfirah yang tercecer
di kejahilan jiwaku
namun aku masih rindu
sayang, rindu semua
Bukankah Allah Maha Penyayang
memberi apa yang terperi
sementara kita tiada puas
Lelah menentang berpaling arah
Aku hanya ingin bersamamu
dalam duka sepi bahagia
dalam gelap gemerlap genderang
bahkan sunyi yang abadi
masihkan kau percaya akan cinta
walau kata telah bosan disematkan
Masihkah rasa itu ada
...............................

Aku pulang untuk belajar
mencari arti yang sebenar
belajar bersabar dalam rindu
belajar menepis galau
belajar cara mencinta
tanpa keangkuhan
belajar sepertimu
belajar untukmu
..............................

Aku menangis,
maafkan,
tapi dada ini seperti mau pecah
aku akan sangat merindukanmu,
selalu
selamanya.....................

Untuk Kekasihku, Suamiku tersayang...
Bubu

Andai...

2004-05-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

Ketidaktahuanku bahwa kau sebenarnya mengerti ternyata lebih menyakitkan. Aku merasa seperti berpijak pada bara api yang memijar tak kenal belas kasih. seharusnya aku bersikap dewasa dan berusaha tak menghiraukan segala yang berkecamuk di dada. Toh, ini hanya masalah sepele. tetapi, ketika kita bicara masalah hati, semuanya menjadi begitu rumit.
Sepagi ini kita telah meletup amarah, memicu airmata dan membasahi sutra. Benarkah ini semua harus bergulir untuk memastikan bahwa aku bertambah buruk dan keji. Keadaan negeri ini membuatku sesak tak bernapas, ruang dan dinding yang menghimpit keseharianku menjerumuskan aku pada ketidakberdayaan. Dan teknologi yang melumuriku dengan mimpi. Maafkan aku karena tidak mengeri bahwa kau sebenarnya mengerti tentangku. Hanya saja, ketidaktahuanku bahwa kau sebenarnya mengerti ternyata lebih menyakitkan.
Aku rindu ibuku, sungguh, ingin pulang dan memeluknya. Tempatku bukan di sini walau selalu bersemayam di lubuk hatimu. Maafkan aku sayang, jantung yang memompa darah mendenyutkan nadi dan menghantarkan arus arus berpijar...aku ingin jatuh cinta pada kabut pagi...Namun kau tahu sendiri...aku benci dingin...aku benci...

Gaun pengantin

2004-05-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

kuharap ini hanya kemanusiawianku
untuk sehelai gaun dan irmata
mungkin ini yang dinamakan cinta
tanpa ada pengertian
atau aku yang terlalu menuntut
aku merasa cukup bersabar
sehelai gaun dan putaran waktu
adakah sia sia
yang kuingin hanya sebuah potret
kau dan aku
tersenyum
sehelai gaun dan kekecewaan
malam ini aku begitu hampa
sedang airmata terus bergulir
bukan hanya untuk sehelai gaun
namun untuk hati yang bertanya

Negeri di Utara

2004-05-19T22:17:00.000+08:00

Negeri ini jauh dari rindu dan kehangatan
Keberadaanmu hanya cukup mengekalkan sepi
Aku ingin pulang ke pulau kecilku
Untuk bersua dengan sang surya dan udara
Manusia yang ramah dan bersahaja
Entah sudah berapa purnama
Tak kurasakan percikan percikan itu
Aku sendiri tak mengerti